I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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