Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
