Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
