He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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