...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
