Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
