Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
