I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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