It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
