Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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