my vag is so smooth its legendary
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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