Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
