some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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