i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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