It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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