i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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