I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize