Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
