The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
