i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
