: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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