sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize