No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
