If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
