You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Welp...herpes.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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