Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
