I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
