hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you had me at cake vodka
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
