my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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