You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
