I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
