how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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