woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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