It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
