Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
