Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
