I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
