Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
bring money and cleavage
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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