omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize