didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
