grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You are a genius and a whore.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
