dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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