she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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