maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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