Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
