So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
