i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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