You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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