Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize