I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
