she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
