I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just googled if crying burns calories
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
