I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
