watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
