remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
you made out with another girl for some wings
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
