so explain again why im purple
no
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Even my vagina gasped.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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