Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
