they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
