Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
