bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
